so I just finished Madoka
and this is relevant
Walpurgis Night (Walpurgisnacht) is a traditional spring festival on 30 April or 1 May in large parts of Central and Northern Europe. It is often celebrated with dancing and with bonfires. It is exactly six months from All Hallows’ Eve.
Saint Walpurga or Walburga (Old English: Wealdburg; c. 710 – February 25, 777 or 779), also spelled Valderburg or Guibor, was an English missionary to the Frankish Empire. She was canonized on 1 May ca. 870 by Pope Adrian II. The “witches’ sabbath” Walpurgis Night occurs on the eve of her day, which coincides with May Day.
The Witches’ Sabbath or Sabbat is a meeting of those who practice witchcraft and other rites.
So does anyone remember the Hate series? Okay, Hate 10, with Red beating Blue. I have it posted on Deviantart. Just. This conversation. Please look at it. I have no idea what’s happening anymore.
But hey, Red went to go sit on a mountain for 2 years, Blue went on to become a Gym Leader, so in all honesty, who REALLY won?
Blue beat Lance. Blue was the second best in the region.
Funny, how instead of being Champion in Red’s absence, the title he earned went to someone he defeated while he was awarded a lesser position.
There’s really not a whole lot else to say in this situation. Everything that has occurred since we began playing sgrub has been painful- not that life was not painful before. But it wasn’t real- it was imagined, the kind that creeps in your head and gives you a reason to be unhappy.
This? This wasn’t fake hurt. This was real.
This was my dead friends and they weren’t ever coming back.
This was my broken life and I’m never going to get a chance to live it.
This was my party to lead, and I led them straight to their deaths.
So here is me with Gamzee who I let go mad and kill people (he probably blames me, and he should. It’s my fault, I was supposed to watch that fucking juggalo), and here I am with Kanaya who I let die right in front of me (I didn’t lift a finger to help her. I just let her die and become a monster. She ought to blame me, too.) , and here I am with Sollux who is now blind and toothless because I didn’t help him either (hell, I kill his original self before we even had everyone playing the game. He says he doesn’t blame me, but he has to, because I would blame me if I weren’t me. I blame me and I am me.), and here I am with Terezi who I let kill Vriska (she shouldn’t have had to do that. It’s my fault she had to be the grownup and make hard decisions. That’s my job, I failed her. I bet she blames me too.).
And here I am with Vriska’s corpse- a smear of dried up, congealed blue blood crusted to a tiny gray-skinned girl in a ridiculous orange outfit. Her fucking huge blue fairy wings are spread out to her sides, perfectly symmetrical, unharmed, hair splayed out around her head like a fucking halo. A dead god.
For all the terrible things she did she wasn’t evil and she didn’t fucking deserve to die. It is MY FUCKING FAULT for not being here and not making the right decisions and for not saving us.
It is my fucking fault.
The sun just exploded. Green fire everywhere. It’s warmer now, even from this distance. And Sollux is bleeding. Again. Fuck. FUCK. Why is he always bleeding? It’s my fucking fault, again, because I can’t do what he does because of my fucking mutant candy red blood I can’t do anything. Sollux can fix it though. He can drive our entire fucking meteor right where it needs to keep us alive. Not fair, not fair, not fair, he shouldn’t have to do that.
I’m in charge. I’m the fucking leader, why can’t I do this?? I can’t help anyone.
I have to sit here and watch my best friend kill himself and I can’t do a gog damned thing about it because I need him to or I will die and so will everyone else.
I think it just hit me, too.
It’s fucking over.
There will not be anymore trolls. There won’t be anymore humans. There’s just us five left, and those four left, and that’s it. No one is going to save us. We can win this stupid fucking game but it doesn’t mean anything.
We are all going to die here.
I’m only six fucking sweeps and I’m going to die. I got crabdad killed because I was too fucking proud and stupid to listen to Sollux and now I’m alone and I have to be a grownup but I’m not and that’s not okay, because I have to be. I have to grow up. I have to grow up right now. I have to grow up right FUCKING now but I can’t.
And it’s not fair.
We’re kids. We’re just KIDS. We’re only six- and now we get to die. We get to play this stupid game and fight for our pathetic fucking lives, and then we get to kill eachother and watch us kill eachother and we get to cry and scream and hurt and then we get to die.
I don’t want to play anymore.